Ghosts and the Periodic Table

It all started with this.

We were walking home from the Post Office and I was asking The Boy about his day. Then he suddenly said something that made me ask him to get off his scooter and carry it so I wouldn’t miss a single word. ‘Say that again, Babe?’

‘I said, in school today I learnt that I can’t have a discussion with a Christian without getting really angry!’

The argument boiled down to this, and it would make Professor Brian Cox himself proud. 

Thanks, Geoff. We know this to be true

The Boy was arguing that ghosts couldn’t possibly exist because there is no substance in the Periodic Table which can pass through solid walls, therefore there’s nothing they could be made of that would allow them to do so (yes, I am aware that his argument is somewhat flawed, but a) he’s ten years old and using the Periodic Table to to support his statements and b) um, Ghosts? The whole thing’s flawed from the start). Then his friend had retorted that angels could pass through walls because they could turn themselves into fog. ‘But,’ Boy continued, with violent gesticulation, ‘fog doesn’t pass through walls either! And he wasn’t having it!’

‘And did you point out that angels must be insects, on account of the six limb thing?’

‘No, he wasn’t listening to the first bit, never mind anything else…’

I won’t relate the rest of the conversation. Or the stopping in the street to hold his tiny shoulders and tell him I ache with pride that he has learnt something that many people never do, in their whole ignorant lives.  But following another revelation from The Girl, I took to social media in sheer delight at their miniature self-awareness.

Then something lovely happened. And if this comes across as me preaching about How One Should Use Social Media – FINE. I’m the f**king Pope.  And I’m really good at it. Here’s why:

I posted this – which, some might say, is somewhat inflammatory.  I think you’d have to be fairly web-toed to think so, but as the late Bill Hicks said, there are indeed some serious pockets of humanity out there. Of course it wasn’t long before my friends started chiming in, on both sides of the argument. 

Play Nice, you Beauties

That is, not too far down one side of the argument – they are my friends, after all. The thread began with some banter and a marvellous use of the word ‘Bellend’, which always pleases me immensely; then somewhat of a discussion ensued, between Christians and Atheists on both sides of the Atlantic. I have lots of Christian friends on Facebook, and lots of Atheist friends, and anyone who reads my blog may know my views on religious matters. I state my feelings openly on my blog, and if anyone wishes to be offended, I politely invite them to discontinue reading it. I hope, however, I have the good manners not to invade others’ privacy, their feelings, or their social media walls, with my opinions. I was pleased, and warmed, to see people bonding over shared views, whether equal or opposite to mine.  I was pleased above all that those same people chose to contribute without becoming accusatory – even when the banter was quite provocative.  I’d have been sorry to see it blow up – after all, my wall, no-one has to read it – and as I’d already made my point in the original post, I purposely kept quiet myself.  

Facebook spats are so unseemly. This Be The Word Of Mu.

Yes, Lily. Yes. Yes, I will.