I’ve Entered The ‘Niche Years’ Now. Boy, Are You In Trouble

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.  
But you all know that – I’ve dropped enough hints.

A cake. I made it.

I will be busy enjoying Champagne and good company tomorrow night, so naturally I will be far too busy to publish a birthday blog. That will have to wait,because I shall be straight off to host a Burns’ Night Charity Fundraiser on Saturday, then home for tea and cake with my gorgeous girl-friends on Sunday.

I’ve had so much to share with you, and yet my blog posts are pitifully few… though neither are my readers’ numbers multitudinous – I’ve checked my stats and it took a lovely big painting of a lady’s lady-parts to boost my views to 500 in a day! Pffft. You people, you’re terrible. Here are some highlights, then, of the last year…

DID I MENTION THAT I AM MISS JANUARY? Well, I am. I came in with the most votes in the photo competition, and there I am, all over it (and all over some of my gentleman-friends too, apparently, the dirty buggers).  

   

Some of your walls are graced by the Whiskerinas’ Calendar this year, and you get me all month – my birthday month. Lucky you.  I thought I’d share the email I sent to lovely Jodi, who organised the Calendar Contest and has done so much to support the Give The Kids The World Foundation. Here it is:
“ Jodi, I'm sorry to 'spill' on you but there's something I'd like to share with you. I got the news about the Calendar this morning, I went about my business, I dropped my children at their schools; then I cried all the way to work. As you know, it's my birthday in January: I shall be 40. Three years ago I couldn't bear to look at myself in a mirror. Five years ago I sort of hoped I might get hit by a truck as it would take a lot of complicated decisions out of my hands. Then I began creative writing. Then Poetry. Then performance. Then Burlesque. Then Bearding. It's been quite a journey, and it's not over. But I wanted to give you an idea of what it represents, for me, to be 'Miss January', during the month of my 40th birthday, after what I went through. It's a big fucking deal, is what I'm trying to say, and - well, thank you. Beard On, Sister! Love, Mu”

That's not my bottom. For a change

That’s all. So if this all seems a bit ‘Me-Me-Me’, and if you’re getting a teensy bit bored of me posting pictures of my arse all over the place, do you know what? I give no fucks about that. I’m enjoying being me, and I’m loving being 40. I’ve entered the ‘Niche Years’ now, Baby, and it’s taken me this long to begin to work out who I am. Thank you to all the incredible, inspirational, beautiful, crazy people who’ve shared this journey so far. Ooh – tearing up. Stop it. Here are some photos.

Written by a young person with Autism, after I visited his school for a poetry workshop on National Poetry Day

Treasured moment with FergalMcElherron at Shakespeare's Globe last summer

Deadly Is The Female, 5th Birthday celebration

This should happen to every girl at least once

Chatting with Sir Terry - what a privilege

Me and the dear Professor, way back in, ooh, 2238 A.D.

Something I invented this year

My most popular post - with almost 6000 shares!

The darling Wife

Some of my less rude cakes. You should have seen the others

Ah, Captain. Such adventures!

WORLD Champion (Silver). Stuttgart. I know.

Happy times with truly wonderful people

*I’ll tell you something else, too. For the first time in fifteen years, I own a full-length mirror – bought it last week. Perhaps, this year – just perhaps – I’ll even take it out of its wrapping.

The Turtle Moves. But Discworld Fans move mountains.

My Grandmother - 'Head Grandma', as she is known, being the Lavender family Matriarch - is 96 and sharp as a tack. She plays Scrabble with her friends once a week. She has travelled the world and made lifelong friends everywhere she has been. These days she's a little bit frail; but if I can be half the woman she is when I am in my Lavender Bag years, I will consider that an achievement. 

Keeping one's brain active and stimulated is believed to be something of a safeguard against Alzheimer's. It's by no means infallible, but it's a reminder that one should, maybe, I don't know, write more poetry and spend less time arsing about on Facebook.  

*and these awesome boots #lovethemsomuch

To the point: I'm sitting here on my sofa, dressed in pyjama top, fishnets and a pair of Deadly is the Female's finest* (click there to see some really nice pants). It's been a crazy weekend - I've given several poetry performances this weekend as part of the 10th anniversary celebrations of the twinning of Ankh-Morpork, the greatest city on the Discworld, with Wincanton in Somerset - home, naturally, of the Discworld Emporium and the finest Hogswatch celebrations you'll see anywhere. It's an overwhelming thing to have been part of - the love, warmth and passion of all those Discworld devotees, who brought together all those other warm and passionate Discworld devotees from around the globe. 

Here are some photos; the key points to note are as follows. In summary, People Are Amazing, and Donate To RICE Here.  

That's it.

1. My friendship with a remarkable young artist, Captain Purky initially brought me to Wincanton and the Discworld folk. You can find out more about the Captain and his work here. Much love, Harry. xxxxx
2. I believe Sir Terry Pratchett himself describes his most dedicated Discworld followers as 'Bloody Loonies'. It's clear that his regard for these Loonies is both warm and mutual. I was privileged to be part of all this inspired lunacy this weekend.
3. Speaking of Sir Terry, he came in during my performance and took a seat. That was a very special moment for me.
4. The generosity (and, it must be said, devoted fandom) of the Discworldians who attended the auction, raised over £2900 for The Research Institute for the Care of Older People.
5. As if giving a poetry performance in front of Terry Pratchett were not enough, I did something else - two other things - that felt pretty special. I donated one of my Edinburgh Fringe posters to the auction, which sold for at least four times more than I thought it would, and the buyer asked if I would sign it. I won't lie: that was a lovely moment. And I got to use a Sharpie pen. The second thing was, a teacher asked me to record a video message for a struggling student of hers who was making some bad decisions and falling in with the wrong people. So somewhere in the UK, I'm going to appear on a whiteboard this week, earnestly advising an unknown young person that yes, poetry is fantastic, but Poetrix Doth Not Live By Verse Alone.   
6. Incidentally, Reaper Man is my favourite. And today, I found a spoon*.

Crowd gathers to watch live video feed from the Town Hall

The original Cohen the Barbarian

C.M.O.T. Dibbler with Elizabeth

Cheery Littlebottom and a female Wizard (obviously - she's wearing trousers)

My Discworld Mummy

The Corset Inspector. Or that's what his badge said.  Hang on...

A very fine couple

The Unseen University Cheerleading Squad

Fion Kelda and Madam Rosie Palm

It's ok, she's wearing the black ribbon. I'm safe

*If you get that, please drop me a line. I'd be really touched.